When does a disagreement turn disruptive?

When there is insubordination. When there is turbulence on the team. When there is bullying, verbal or physical violence, rancor. A disagreement has turned disruptive when the folks involved spend too much time fighting … when work isn’t getting done. This happens more than you think. But, we don’t really see it. Why? Because we […]

The Heart of Conflict

When most of us finally get fed up with an active conflict, we go looking for new ways of doing things (because what we’re doing, saying, thinking, avoiding, etc. obviously isn’t working). We get a book. We ask a friend. We hire a pro. Often nothing changes. Why? The advice we get in these moments […]

What We’re Learning

Winning Decisions: Getting it right the first time, by J. Edward Russo and Paul J. H. Shoemaker Today’s Challenge: Learn How to Frame Reframing is a simple cognitive technique fundamental to perspective-taking and seeing options. It works like this. Think of the ubiquitous water bottles that most of us carry around these days. Plastic ones, […]

What’s the value of a third party?

Wherever two or more people work together, conflict is inherent. We often handle conflict in destructive, rather than constructive ways. When conflict has derailed a negotiation process, a group project, a business partnership, a family, or a friendship, the simple presence of a third party improves the behavior of the parties involved. When an outsider […]