Reframing

We all have an internal structure, an amalgam of our own personal theories of the universe, by which make sense of the world, make sense out of our reality, of whatever we find happening to us. These theories are implicit, and  ineffable – meaning they defy language – we can’t put these theories into words. These […]

I’m so triggered …

So, what happens if the parties gets triggered? This is a word we hear all the time now. What does it mean to be triggered? The word has become a standard meme, and its overuse in popular culture has broadened the term beyond its professional definition. Psychology professionals use the word in therapy to describe […]

What’s the weather like?

Have you ever tried to tell an upset spouse or child to “just get over it?” Did it work? Emotions are internal weather. A storm will swell up, the sun will shine, the rain will pour, the wind will blow. Fortunately, once framed this way, the analogy can be extended – just like the weather […]

5 types of conflict: relationships

relationship conflicts Relationship conflicts arise based on the negative experiences of the parties with each other. When negative emotions such as hatred or disgust become instilled in the behavior patterns of the parties toward each other, the negative pattern itself becomes the explicit basis for the conflict. In this type of conflict, the parties may […]

5 types of conflict: value

value conflicts Emotion and issues of morality are to the front in values-based conflicts. Emotion and morality position are based in differences of ideology, religion and culture. When these types of difference are present, the parties may resort to biased stereotyping and hold misconceptions that affect their interpretation of the behaviors and ideas of the […]

5 types of conflict: factual

Factual Conflicts Factual Conflicts arise when different types and levels of information is available to the parties: method of data collection interpretation of data incorrect or inaccurate data missing data Even if there is transparency and parity in the data available to all parties, the parties themselves may interpret the data differently in terms of […]

5 Types of Conflict: Structural

Structural Conflicts A structural conflict is borne out of constraints in the environment in which the problem is situated, and are either internal to the conflict or external to the conflict. Internal dynamics in structural conflicts arise based on the prior destructive behavior of the parties toward each other, an unequal allocation of resources, and […]

5 types of conflict: Interest

Interest Conflicts Interest conflicts involve things that cannot be split and goals that are mutually exclusive. If I want to drive the convertible to the beach this weekend, you cannot have it to drive around town while I am away. The exclusivity may be real (as above), or perceived. In perceived exclusivity, alternative to the […]

5 types of conflict

Defining conflict by type helps to get a handle on the locus of the disagreement. A simple conflict would fit neatly into one of the above types. Most conflicts are complex, involving more than one of these types of conflict. Click on the type above to link to its definition. Once there is agreement as […]

Work harder at love

“No one is born hating another person because of the color of his skin, or his background, or his religion. People must learn to hate, and if they can learn to hate, they can be taught to love, for love comes more naturally to the human heart than its opposite.” – Nelson Mandela